Formative Discipline

Last night Lacy and I were talking (as we normally have done the past year) on how we were going to raise Connor. We've covered topics such as television shows, movies, books, schools, sports, extracurricular activities, Santa, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, Christmas, etc. I think you get the point. Oops left one out, discipline. We're not a 100% sure how we're going to discipline but we have agreed of its importance. Now, if you know then you're probably thinking, "Joe and discipline...what?" One of my weaknesses, when I get the ol' job review, is discipline. It's the case these days as it once was mainly because the youth attend the contemporary service or just show up to Sunday School. But I have been told on the occasion that I need to up my disciplining of the youth. Of course, disciplining other people's children is a little different than disciplining your own child or is it?

It is if discipline is about punishment or response to a bad behavior. That is one part of the definition and when one steps out of line discipline brings the back in but discipline is more than just a spanking or time out. In fact, most "corporal" disciplinary actions don't really work in the long run. Though the child may learn not to do something, they learn not to do it because of the punishment. As they reach adulthood, they are unable to really distinguish the difference between right and wrong without the result being a punishment. Now the truth is, we only know what is right and wrong when we do one or the other and we are either rewarded or disciplined. Still, there's more to discipline than just a spanking.

I remember being an exploratory child growing up. I wandered off (still do) without telling someone where I'm going. I climbed on things, broke things (once broke a mannequin at Dillard's because I thought Cobra was attacking) and said the occasional "bad word." I might have driven my parents a little nuts here and there, especially when my brother came along. I write all that to say that I've had my fair share of disciplinary issues. I have had my backside paddled more times than Kevin Bacon in Animal House (that didn't sound right). I do remember the reason for my puddling's were always explained or I figured out what I did wrong. Calling a football player an a-hole when your six is reason enough to get a paddling. But I think I understood discipline as something else than just getting into trouble. I knew when I got into trouble and didn't need discipline to tell me I had done something wrong. I needed discipline to do something right.

I started working out at a gym recently. I have sort of let myself go, though you can't really tell. Lacy likes to say that I look healthy but to my standards I have let myself go. So, I joined a gym and I have been going 4 days a week for two hours each day. Every time I 'm there I keep thinking about the verse in the letter to the Corinthians, "Do you not know that in a race the runners all compete, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win it. Athletes exercise self-control in all things; they do it to receive a perishable garland, but we an imperishable one. So I do not run aimlessly, nor do I box as though beating the air; no, I punish my body and make it my slave so that after I proclaiming to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize." Afterwards I think, "I'm not sure Paul meant literally." Okay that was funnier in my head.

I have loved that verse since I was a teenager. Anytime Paul writes about running or running appears in the Bible I feel like I am the only superior enough to understand what Paul or the writer of Hebrews meant *(note the sarcasm). There's a better example than Paul's defensive rant of his authority and apostleship but I like the verse so I went with it to make a point. As Christians we know what discipline should look like and what discipline should be about. We know that if the Israelites had been disciplined in their faith they wouldn't have wandered the desert for 40 years. We know that Jesus was extremely disciplined in order to fast in the wilderness and resist the devil's temptations. We know that Paul and other Apostles strongly encouraged discipline so that we may not lose the race. We know because we've read it over and over again.

Discipline forms our minds, our hearts, our lives. Discipline transforms us into who God is creating us to be. We cannot escape discipline. When we give up, when lack discipline, we begin to fall into the temptations that I mentioned in my very first post two months ago. The church and its people lack discipline because we can go from one church to another when we get tired of dealing with certain people, the pastor, or we just don't like the music. Discipline teaches the church to work through and with the issues that face it. Discipline teaches us to not quit when we face a daunting task. Our children and youth lack discipline because parents lack the discipline in their own lives.

Allow me to be very basic here. When we choose to hit the snooze alarm on Sunday mornings and stay home because we're tired, we lack discipline and we do not teach our children the discipline to go to worship. When we choose to say, "kids will be kids" but do not offer up loving discipline, we teach them that we don't care. When we lack the ability to discipline our children in a way that teaches them a better way of living, we also lack the ability to discipline ourselves.

I am confident that there is a better way to put this but I will figure that out tomorrow. I'm lacking the discipline to try and be understood. Again, with the bad jokes